Refund Please

Photo by Day Dreamer

How long does it take to eradicate the meaning of a life and by what gauge do we weigh it?  Hell it hurts to say it? Could you pay it?  Who would?  Five lost in a fire and there I stood.  Trying to remember and trying to forget. Regret and dying inside.   The smell, their smiles… the brokenness of bodies identified…  They ask me:  where were you?  My answer: work… but it never seems to compare.  I should have been there.  I should have known.  It still haunts me, as I look at my new ones and how they’ve grown.  I still lack the words to explain to them.   Five minutes and a pack of Newport Shorts.  News reports… Indigestion at recollection and I get so very sad.  “Mommy where are my other sisters and brothers?” How do I explain, as a Mother,  that one night when I was working…I left them with their Dad? A marriage and five angels lost… Sorry it was too high a cost…

Posted for Poetry Jam

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21 thoughts on “Refund Please”

  1. What a difficult thing to struggle with–and I am sure you would never really get over it, merely learn to live with it. I can hardly imagine that kind of pain. Hugs to you.

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  2. Oh…. you have such strength of heart and a powerful determination. Most people get caught up in truly “small” problems and fumble the ball and never pick it back up. You kept on going, which is what life is about… and how difficult it must have been. I’m proud of you, and thanks for sharing. I’ll tuck this away and remember.

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  3. I read this with horror and shock. In the back of my mind, “I hope to God this isn’t true” kept repeating over and over as I read. I can’t even begin to imagine what you went through or how you felt, let alone how you found the strength (determination) to keep going. My heart goes out to you, and I am so very sorry for your loss. Peace and blessings.

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    1. Peace and blessings are always welcome. Thank you for taking the time to read it. Sadly it is true. I wrote this poem as part of a prompt in which we had to tell about something we struggle with.

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Sandman leave me a dream...

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